My Pregnancy...

Although I would give almost anything to be in the position again, pregnancy was very rough on me. I was throwing up every day until I was 19 weeks along! I think this is when I started brushing my teeth in the shower! About once or twice a week I drove to Urgent Care for IV's because I was so dehydrated. My "baby bump" was noticeable at about 8 weeks! By this time I looked about four months along! Now I don't know if that is because the fertility drugs made my bump bigger, or if I (secretly) felt I could release my faithful belly that had against it's will kept itself sucked in for the past year (wink wink).

We had an ultrasound scheduled at about two months along. This was the day we would find out if one, or both of the fertilized eggs had implanted. We already knew we had one, but did the other one take too? Steve was guessing we were having twins; I thought just one. The technician put the doplar on my belly and I wasn't sure if I was looking at a weather forecast, one baby, two babies, or something from Mars! I anxiously watched his face for any clues. "Well, it looks like ONE baby!" he said. Steve was surprised, I was not. Two would have been great, but if God was willing to give us this one baby, we were happy.

Then came the next big milestone...gender day!!! I was only sixteen weeks along, but my doctor was fun and curious herself! There I was again, watching her face in anticipation. Steve and I both were 110% sure that it was a boy for some reason, but once again, didn't care. I think deep down every girl wants a baby girl. Dr. Johnson looked at us and said, "It's a girl!" We were shocked! We just knew it was a boy! I was ecstatic! Steve, one the other hand said he was scared to death because he had NO idea how to raise a girl; in fact was terrified she would be like me! (lol)

Funny story time ladies...As we all know, hormones pretty much make you wonder if you are bipolar, or just craaaazy during pregnancy right? Well here is proof...My husband leaves for work at around 6:00 in the morning. I decided to get up with him one morning and give him a hug. Now keep in mind that it is still dark at 6:00 in Minnesota. There we were in the living room sharing a nice hug when all of the sudden..."Dear God what is that?!!!" In a totally calm voice, Steve says, "Sadie, that would be a coyote." For those of you that do not know me personally, I am pretty much afraid of my own shadow, so this "coyote" was Armageddon in my book. Ready for the funny/pathetic part? I started crying because I was convinced that as soon as my husband left for work, that beast was going to jump through my living room window and eat me!!! Go ahead friends, have a chuckle at my expense.

What did I do next? Went and bought everything I possibly could in pink! I was in total "nesting" mode. I started a scrap book for our little Aubrey Gera. The name Aubrey comes from a couple meanings; one of my best friends is named Bri, I was supposed to be named Audra, and there was a really pretty chick in a band called "Danity Kane" named Aubrey. Gera comes from my husbands father, Gerald, who unfortunately passed away when Steve was three years old.

This was about the time I asked Steve the "dreaded favor" that nobody wants to be asked, I never thought it would actually become reality. As you all know, we had a very tough time becoming pregnant. Being a mom is the very reason I was put on this earth. From the moment I found out we were expecting, I was a mom. As many of you also know, when you are pregnant, you dream up a ton of scenarios and think about almost everything that could possibly happen. I don't know if it was God's way to somehow prepare me for what was in store or what, but one day out of the blue, I looked at Steve and said, "Hun, I need a promise from you?" ( He looked up at me with a worried oh Sadie now what look) "If for any reason something were to come up during the remainder of the pregnancy, or during the birth where I become unresponsive, "Sadie stop!!!" Steve, this is something that I have thought about and need you to know. I need you to promise me that if it comes down to it, you save HER. He just looked at me with a blank stare and said, "That is not going to happen and I am not even going to imagine that happening". I knew I had to drop it right there, but at least I said what I wanted too.

Then one day, it happened...

At 30 weeks along, I was at the Dr. for a check up and my blood pressure was high. They told me to go to the hospital just for monitoring, to be safe. The rest is a blur....All of the sudden, my mom and sister were crying and calling Steve to tell him to get there right away. I was told Life Flight was on the way and that mine and my unborn baby's lives were seriously in danger. I was told I was suffering from Preeclampsia. I remember seeing a pastor in the room with me; my mom said he was reading my last rights (for the third time in my life) but I couldn't hear him. All I knew was that I was being airlifted to St. Cloud. We got to St. Cloud and I was immediately prepped for an emergency c-section. I told them I wanted to wait for Steve. They were not waiting, but he got there just in time! All I remember from that point was seeing doctors and nurses everywhere and my stomach being pulled on sooo hard, but it didn't hurt?! Next thing I saw were two of the smallest legs I had ever seen! It was my baby!!! She was not breathing and only weighed 2lbs 11oz and was 15 inches long! They helped her breath and brought her to the NICU. I did not get to see her for about two hours.