My Pregnancy...

Although I would give almost anything to be in the position again, pregnancy was very rough on me. I was throwing up every day until I was 19 weeks along! I think this is when I started brushing my teeth in the shower! About once or twice a week I drove to Urgent Care for IV's because I was so dehydrated. My "baby bump" was noticeable at about 8 weeks! By this time I looked about four months along! Now I don't know if that is because the fertility drugs made my bump bigger, or if I (secretly) felt I could release my faithful belly that had against it's will kept itself sucked in for the past year (wink wink).

We had an ultrasound scheduled at about two months along. This was the day we would find out if one, or both of the fertilized eggs had implanted. We already knew we had one, but did the other one take too? Steve was guessing we were having twins; I thought just one. The technician put the doplar on my belly and I wasn't sure if I was looking at a weather forecast, one baby, two babies, or something from Mars! I anxiously watched his face for any clues. "Well, it looks like ONE baby!" he said. Steve was surprised, I was not. Two would have been great, but if God was willing to give us this one baby, we were happy.

Then came the next big milestone...gender day!!! I was only sixteen weeks along, but my doctor was fun and curious herself! There I was again, watching her face in anticipation. Steve and I both were 110% sure that it was a boy for some reason, but once again, didn't care. I think deep down every girl wants a baby girl. Dr. Johnson looked at us and said, "It's a girl!" We were shocked! We just knew it was a boy! I was ecstatic! Steve, one the other hand said he was scared to death because he had NO idea how to raise a girl; in fact was terrified she would be like me! (lol)

Funny story time ladies...As we all know, hormones pretty much make you wonder if you are bipolar, or just craaaazy during pregnancy right? Well here is proof...My husband leaves for work at around 6:00 in the morning. I decided to get up with him one morning and give him a hug. Now keep in mind that it is still dark at 6:00 in Minnesota. There we were in the living room sharing a nice hug when all of the sudden..."Dear God what is that?!!!" In a totally calm voice, Steve says, "Sadie, that would be a coyote." For those of you that do not know me personally, I am pretty much afraid of my own shadow, so this "coyote" was Armageddon in my book. Ready for the funny/pathetic part? I started crying because I was convinced that as soon as my husband left for work, that beast was going to jump through my living room window and eat me!!! Go ahead friends, have a chuckle at my expense.

What did I do next? Went and bought everything I possibly could in pink! I was in total "nesting" mode. I started a scrap book for our little Aubrey Gera. The name Aubrey comes from a couple meanings; one of my best friends is named Bri, I was supposed to be named Audra, and there was a really pretty chick in a band called "Danity Kane" named Aubrey. Gera comes from my husbands father, Gerald, who unfortunately passed away when Steve was three years old.

This was about the time I asked Steve the "dreaded favor" that nobody wants to be asked, I never thought it would actually become reality. As you all know, we had a very tough time becoming pregnant. Being a mom is the very reason I was put on this earth. From the moment I found out we were expecting, I was a mom. As many of you also know, when you are pregnant, you dream up a ton of scenarios and think about almost everything that could possibly happen. I don't know if it was God's way to somehow prepare me for what was in store or what, but one day out of the blue, I looked at Steve and said, "Hun, I need a promise from you?" ( He looked up at me with a worried oh Sadie now what look) "If for any reason something were to come up during the remainder of the pregnancy, or during the birth where I become unresponsive, "Sadie stop!!!" Steve, this is something that I have thought about and need you to know. I need you to promise me that if it comes down to it, you save HER. He just looked at me with a blank stare and said, "That is not going to happen and I am not even going to imagine that happening". I knew I had to drop it right there, but at least I said what I wanted too.

Then one day, it happened...

At 30 weeks along, I was at the Dr. for a check up and my blood pressure was high. They told me to go to the hospital just for monitoring, to be safe. The rest is a blur....All of the sudden, my mom and sister were crying and calling Steve to tell him to get there right away. I was told Life Flight was on the way and that mine and my unborn baby's lives were seriously in danger. I was told I was suffering from Preeclampsia. I remember seeing a pastor in the room with me; my mom said he was reading my last rights (for the third time in my life) but I couldn't hear him. All I knew was that I was being airlifted to St. Cloud. We got to St. Cloud and I was immediately prepped for an emergency c-section. I told them I wanted to wait for Steve. They were not waiting, but he got there just in time! All I remember from that point was seeing doctors and nurses everywhere and my stomach being pulled on sooo hard, but it didn't hurt?! Next thing I saw were two of the smallest legs I had ever seen! It was my baby!!! She was not breathing and only weighed 2lbs 11oz and was 15 inches long! They helped her breath and brought her to the NICU. I did not get to see her for about two hours.

Let's start at the beginning...

Hey guys! My husband Steve and I have been together for twelve years, married for six. We knew we wanted to start a family right away and began trying so. After about two years of "no luck" we were frustrated. We didn't know why we weren't getting pregnant; especially when EVERYONE around us was announcing their great news! Seriously? What kind of water were these people drinking?!! We knew the days of ovulation, and all the silly tricks!

By this point, we should have had stock in "First Response" pregnancy tests because I pretty much bought them in bulk! You know exactly what I am talking about ladies, the ones that tell you five days before your annoying bff comes? Yup, them ;) I went in the bathroom before I was even late and HOLY CRAP!!!! OMG OMG!!! This can't be right! Can this not be right? Nope, I know it's not right, right? I have taken a million of these things and not one has ever turned pink! My heart started racing and I finally decided to believe it! I went into the storage room and dug out the "Daddy I'm on my way" letter I had made for my husband a looong time ago to give him the day I found out we were expecting. (along with all the baby clothes I had been buying for years hehe ;) I drove to his farm, which is about two miles from our house and stood in the driveway like a kid waiting to open Christmas gifts as he walked toward me to see what the heck was wrong with me since I very seldom go to the farm! I handed him the letter and he looked up at me with the most amazing grin I had ever seen. We just hugged, both scared that something would happen in the next eight months to crush us, yet overcome with extreme joy.

Things were going great until I went to the bathroom one day when I was eight weeks along and noticed some spotting. Steve and I immediately went to the doctor and received the news...it was a tubal pregnancy aka ectopic pregnancy. We were devastated. My Dr. gave me a shot to dissolve the pregnancy before it ruptured my fallopian tube, which could be fatal. How could we go from never being this excited, to never being this sad?

Our Dr. then decided it would be a good idea to do exploratory surgery to see what was going on inside my body. When I woke up, she explained to us that my fallopian tubes were basically shot. She concluded that when my appendix ruptured when I was five, the poison ate through my tubes and made it impossible for anything to pass through them successfully. She then explained that if I did not get my tubes tied, this would keep happening. She also explained that In Vito fertilization would be our only option to become biological parents. We knew exactly what to do next. Oddly enough, we accepted this and immediately made an appointment to tie my tubes. A few weeks later, we went to the cities for a consultation at the reproductive clinic. The cost was going to be about $15,000.00 and the success rate would hover around the 50-60% range. Luckily, at the time we were able to come up with the finances to move forward with the procedure.

Here we go! We got home and I started my meds! Actually Steve started my meds; which included 1-3 shots daily in the tummy and booty...ouchie! I didn't care about the pain; if that is what it was going to take to make us parents, bring on the needles! I also had to drive to the cities (about 150 miles one way) 2-3 times a week for ultrasounds and blood tests to give the doctors a close look at how my hormones were progressing. We were getting close to "retrieval" day! That is the day when my body would be at peak and they would go in and extract the eggs from my ovaries and add Steve's sperm in a dish for fertilization. Well, with in Vito meds, there is a very small chance the body could go into "hyper stimulation" and the procedure has to be called off. Hyper stimulation is where the body kinda freaks out and goes into crazy mode, producing waaay to many eggs; this too could be fatal for the mother if doctors procede with the retrieval. You guessed it..I hyper stimulated the day before the big day! Lucky me! So, we went home and felt sorry for ourselves. It was all over.

A few months later, once my body had had enough time to re cooperate, we started the process again. After another two months of shots, meds, and ultrasounds, we were at retrieval day!!! I was in a cold room on a cold bed waiting for them to put me under! Steve was sitting by my head the whole time. After I was out, they inserted a HUGE monster needle up into my cervix and into the ovaries to extract as many eggs as they could get in one "poke". Next thing I know I am coughing while waking up to a big breathing tube is being taken out of my throat! When did they put that thing in anyways?!! They told us they successfully retrieved eleven healthy eggs! Of the eleven, nine successfully fertilized! Within the next five days, chemists would monitor the embryos under a microscope and pick out the two strongest, to implant on "transfer" day.

Yaaayyy transfer day!!! There I was, again in the cold room on the cold bed. They put me out again and went back in my uterus with the large needle and released the two embryos, in hopes that they would implant and we would be pregnant! When I woke up from the transfer, I knew right away if it had worked or not. Patients people! We were sent home and I was on strict bed rest for two days. I would not be able to take a pregnancy test for about two weeks; which was sooo hard! Well, if you know me, you know that I am going to take a test every day starting in about ONE week! So there I was in the bathroom again every morning waiting for a pink line! Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

A few days later...OMG OMG!!! A pink line!!! Wait, Sadie, stop! What if all the drugs you are on somehow made the test turn pink and it's not right? I was once again questioning this wonderful news. I immediately called the clinic and asked the nurse if the drugs they had me on could make my test turn positive. I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "Nope, if it says positive, it is positive! Congratulations!!!" So...back to the farm I went.